The top 5 regrets of the dying

Money is a tool to help us achieve those things that are important to us. The first step is making sure we know what makes us happy and building a plan around this.

For many people this revolves around family. Making sure those that we love are taken care of may be the first step in happiness, ensuring we don't end up being a financial burden to our loved ones may be the second step. However, that works both ways. It is likely that your family needs you to be happy, healthy and productive too.

According to Bronnie Ware, the five most common regrets shared by people nearing death were:

1. “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
2. “I wish I hadn't worked so hard.”
3. “I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.”
4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
5. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

In the 2018 research paper “The Ideal Road Not Taken: The Self-Discrepancies Involved in People's Most Enduring Regrets” Shai Davidai and Thomas Gilovich state that “….People are quicker to take steps to cope with failures to live up to their duties and responsibilities (ought-related regrets) than their failures to live up to their goals and aspirations (ideal-related regrets). As a consequence, ideal-related regrets are more likely to remain unresolved, leaving people more likely to regret not being all they could have been more than all they should have been.”

Whether you are more prone to use money to address those things you believe are your responsibilities, rather than use your money to achieve your own happiness may be a moot point. It is clear that peace of mind only comes from doing both.

So, why do people fail to save for their own retirement. Much research has been undertaken regarding our ability to delay pleasure or gratification.